On Gentle Birth
What is gentle birth?
To me, it means giving birth in a gentle, loving way, without causing trauma to the Mother or Baby, and as close to how nature intended as possible. An example of gentle birth would include factors like delayed cord clamping (not severing the umbilical cord immediately after the birth), not using unnecessary medical interventions to rush along the labor and birth process, or separating the Mother from the Baby after birth.
That being said, modern medicine has saved lives and there are times when medical interventions are necessary (I had several during Ori’s birth, and I am grateful for them for bringing him safely Earthside). I believe that even if it is necessary for us to have medical interventions, there is a way to be mindful about ,and have it done as gently as possible. (Read up on gentle Cesarean births here.)
Why is gentle birth important?
I first heard of gentle birthing from Midwife Ibu Robin Lim in her book An Ecology of Gentle Birth. Ibu Robin believes gentle birth is a solution to the world’s problems that we face today - a solution at the source. Human beings have an intact ability to love, be kind and compassionate, and if they are brought into the world with those abilities intact, it will solve many of the world’s problems that we are seeing today. We would all have kindness and compassion with ourselves, each other and the planet. Hence, gentle birth heals Mother Earth.
As a kinesiologist, it is often necessary to de-stress traumatic events that have happened to us in our past. This is a process known as “age recession”. May of these stresses or wounds may not be in our conscious awareness and may have affected us in utero, during birth or childhood. Energetic stresses are still in our bodies, affecting how we interact with the world. These wounds or traumas can effect our outlook, causing negativity, reactivity, or pessimism, and do not allow us to be our most loving, healed, whole and authentic versions of ourselves. Imagine if every Mother and Baby was born into this world lovingly, gentle…how empowered mothers would be and how connected we would all be!
“Healing earth by healing birth. There is a correlation between gentle birth and peace, violent birth and war. We’re in the time of history when the human race has to reinvent itself, because the planet can´t handle so many people with an impaired ability to love living on it. Peace begins with each child.”
My own experience
When I learned more about supporting gentle birthing, it made me see a different side to birth and shifted my paradigm. I had grown up seeing it as frightening, painful and highly medicalized. Instead it could be beautiful, powerful, full of passion, love and, in some cases, even orgasmic! (If you haven’t seen the Orgasmic Birth documentary, it’s a must-see.)
I believe today that unintentionally medical interventions have greatly disturbed the process of birth. I believe that babies are born with innate trust and compassion, and with a traumatic delivery, this will affect that innate ability, and although not irreparable, will require years of conscious nurturing to repair. This is where the Aware Parenting approach of Dr. Aletha Solter can be very supportive, not just for early trauma, but as a parenting approach in general.
My own personal experience was not the gentle birth I had hoped for. The original dream was to give birth in Bali (where we were living at the time), having a water birth, with a midwife, and doula or at the birthing center Bumi Sehat. As life never unfolds the way that you would like it to, I ended up making the choice to give birth in Hong Kong at a public hospital. Although the experience had its share of frustrations, like not feeling supported by the medical system, I felt empowered in my decision making throughout the process. I set up everything as close to my birth preferences as possible and gave birth to Ori via belly birth, a.k.a. unplanned Cesarean. It was a humbling journey of surrender. I am both frustrated and grateful for medicine and the role it played in the process, so that we both came out healthy and safe, although not unscathed. The first year postpartum, I focused a lot on healing and repair from the birth experience, for both myself and Ori, which I will share more about in a later post!
For more on the importance of gentle birth, I highly recommend Dr. Sarah J. Buckley’s essay Healing Birth, Healing Earth. If you’d like to learn more, check out my favorite reads on gentle birthing here.